The Realization of Ones Higher Self Through Massage, Wellness, and Shamanic Healing
A Blog by Robert Baittie, Owner, LMT, and Shamanic Practitioner at Giving Back Massage of Barrington
My name is Robert Baittie. I, like everyone in this world, play a lot of roles in my life. I am a husband of over 39 years at this publishing, to my beautiful wife Deb. I am the father of 3 remarkable (adult) children. I am a recent grandfather to an angel on Earth, and I am the son of a loving and present mother and a loving and never forgotten father. I also am the owner, LMT and Shamanic practitioner at Giving Back Massage of Barrington, a small, philanthropic wellness boutique that focuses on the health of the entire Individual addressing body, mind, and spirit. Which incidentally is what I believe we all truly are. We are not the roles we play, although I accept each one of mine with the same love I had for them when I chose them. I am a soul. We are all souls. Perfect souls occupying body, mind, and spirit. And as such, it is my belief that each of us is charged with only one task in this lifetime, and that is to be the highest expression of who you can be. Nothing more. Nothing less. Be the highest expression of who you can be.
EXPRESSIONS is a bi-monthly blog that will share this philosophy. It will share perspectives and strategies for living your life from your own healing mindset, enabling you to tap into your own beliefs and faith to put into practice in your own life in ways that will uplift and heal. It's about individual empowerment to overcome life challenges that we all must face. It's about not only learning to hear and trust the voice from within your soul, but gaining the confidence to let it speak. It's about discovering and loving who you truly are and achieving your highest sense of self. It's about realizing a state of wellness that will fill your heart and your mind. There will be nothing you cannot accomplish. There will be nothing you cannot heal.
This is my story, the story of Giving Back Massage, and the story of some that have come through our door. It can be yours too.
A need for healing
In 2008, at the age of 48, I had vowed that within two years I was going to be in the best physical shape of my life. It was a birthday present I wanted to give myself when I turned 50 and to me 50 was going to be big.
I had always been of the belief and had had the experience that each decade of my life was better than the previous.
My teens had been carefree and a constant adventure. My friends and connections were everything to me and I was boundless energy and always on the go. Those years were also my introduction to the birth of my spirituality or at the very least provided me my first recollection of being spiritually awakened. I read the book Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach and it stirred something inside me. The questions that I started to ask not only of my parents and clergy but more importantly of myself started the growth process of my spirit that still is an integral part of who I am today.
My 20s represented personal independence and the foundations of my future which I embraced with a passion. In those short ten years I attended two Universities. Southern Illinois where I majored in Aviation to become a pilot (maybe a carryover from Illusions), and the University of Illinois where I majored in Graphic Design which would subsequently become my career. I met my wife during this time and eventually opened my own design business which I ran successfully for over 25 years until as recently as 2018.
My 30s were anchoring years when I started and built my family and the decade that would give me a new perspective on life and what was important to me. I was blessed with 3 beautiful children. My business was prospering.
My 40s I found to be the years where I felt everything come together. I had found a comfort in my business and I knew the cycles it took like the ever changing tide of the ocean. There was just a sense of stability. Our children were coming of age where their personalities were really starting to shine, and I just felt as though I really knew who I was. My spiritual beliefs were in full bloom for me and I took great comfort in how I saw things for myself.
During every one of those decades I can recall at least one event (often more) where I felt a special connection on a spiritual nature. Events that I saw as reminders or wake-up calls to me that there is something more at play in my life. On more than one occasion my guardian angels had wanted to ensure that I made it to the next decade.
And now my 50s were approaching.
To provide a little health background, I had always been able to control my weight. I usually tipped the scales around 175-185 lbs. And with a six foot tall frame I was definitely within a comfortable norm. But my diet had always been something I neglected. For me my ration of fruit came in a Pop-Tart and vegetables were just something that never appealed to me. And having been a small business owner for the last 20 years, my usual routine was to grab a cup of coffee in the morning and skip lunch to keep the work flow going, then come home in the evening and have my three meals between 6pm and bedtime. Not quite the way the food pyramids were built. My business is graphic design so my job consists primarily of sitting at a computer unless I have presentations with a client.
So lets just say at 48, I had become… soft.
Well I made a commitment and promise to myself to change my life. I enrolled in a local gym and signed up with a trainer to do things right. During the next two years I ran on treadmills, worked with weights, crunched my abs, did sets of sit-ups, pull-ups, push-ups and throw-ups (well I felt like I wanted to) and endured the ridicule of my trainer who was a cancer survivor so she wasn’t going to go easy on me. And you know what? It worked. By the time I reached the age of 50 I was in the best shape of my life. My weight had leveled at 175. I was toned, muscular and best of all, off every medication I had been taking for blood pressure and cholesterol. All my numbers were perfect. I was 50 and I was feeling fantastic. Happy Birthday.
Something has to die for something new to be born
I felt I had been given the answer for maintaining my health. Stay on this regimen, eat fewer Pop-Tarts, have a healthy breakfast once in awhile and eat sensible meals at night and not only will my 50s be the best decade yet in my life, I’ll ensure the decades to come.
I decided to stop working out with my trainer and manage myself from this point on. I had learned and adopted a discipline I felt comfortable with and I was confident I could maintain what I had learned.
Fast-forward a year and a half to the Fall of 2011.
My work-out routine had become just that…routine. I kept to a consistent workout of aerobic exercise for 30 minutes, abs for another 20 and finished up with weights for another 20.
One day the routine became anything but ordinary. It was a small change but I had become very in tune with my body and something didn’t feel right. It was the first small ripple in my universe that would soon redefine my life.
I had been running on the treadmill and suddenly my normal gate felt off. My left leg started to feel like it was slightly heavier and I sensed I was starting to feel fatigued in that leg and thought if I continued at this pace, I’m going to trip and fall and land flat on my face on the treadmill. So I reached up and slowed the speed to a more comfortable setting, and finished my workout.
The next day I went back with the intent of resuming my original pace simply to discover a repeat of the same sensations. My leg was feeling clumsy. A minor glitch I thought. Maybe I had tweaked a muscle and my body was just telling me to slow down. I accommodated. For a few weeks I took things slower with the goal of letting things mend.
What transpired over the course of the next 9 months however was far from recuperating. I was about to start a downward spiral both physically and mentally and begin an exhaustive self-guided search through the medical community for answers to what was happening to me.
And at a time when I should have been turning to my own spiritual beliefs for comfort and strength, I found my spirit being broken.
More to come
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Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.